How to Teach Kids About Digital Privacy—Even if They're Still in Elementary School

Mary Bowers, a Cyber Dive mom, shares her personal ways of teaching digital privacy to her children.

Published Thursday, July 31, 2025

Key Takeaways

Online privacy starts with self-respect. Teaching kids to say no in online spaces builds confidence, not fear. When children understand their boundaries, they're more likely to spot unsafe behavior in games, chats, or social media platforms.

Ads and algorithms reveal your digital footprint. Kids notice when online games "follow" them with ads. That curiosity opens the door to teaching how their data is tracked and why critical thinking matters when sharing sensitive information.

Don't rely on parental controls alone. App features might block content, but they can't block intent. Instead, parents should help kids evaluate who can view or interact with them, what's being shared, and how to recognize manipulation on personal devices.

Privacy is a conversation, not a setting. From reading terms of service to creating strong passwords, preparing students for the digital age means talking regularly. Identity thieves and online risks don't wait—so neither should we.

A mother sits on a couch with her young child on her lap, both focused on a laptop screen. She types while the child watches closely, suggesting shared screen time. Pillows and a blanket rest nearby, creating a cozy, lived-in home setting.

Teaching children about digital privacy starts early. Even in elementary school, you can help children stay aware and protect personal details as they explore as digital citizens.

As a mom, I used to think digital privacy was something I could shelve until middle school.

But the truth is, if our kids are old enough to swipe, scroll, or click, they’re old enough to start learning about privacy—and more importantly, about self-respect in this digital age.

And here’s the thing: to me, privacy isn’t even real. Not in the way we want to believe it is.

If you have a smartphone, a tablet, a smart TV…if you use DoorDash, Amazon, have social media accounts, or literally any technology that makes your life easier, your life is not private. Full stop.

Sure, we draw boundaries. We tweak settings. We convince ourselves that certain things are “just for us.” But in reality, we live in a connected, tracked, data-hungry world. And pretending we can hide from it is a false comfort.

So when I teach my kids about digital privacy, I’m not pretending I can give them complete safety or total control. What I can give them is awareness. I can help them understand what they're sharing, why it matters, and how to recognize when something feels off.

Because real privacy may have never existed in the way we hoped—but self-respect and power? That’s still ours to teach.

Here are the things I do to teach my kids about digital privacy:

Teaching Data Privacy Starts with Self-Respect

A child in a bright blue shirt holds up a sheet of white paper with the handwritten word “No!” clearly visible, covering their face. The background is softly blurred greenery, emphasizing the bold, direct message.

Teaching kids to say "no" helps them set boundaries, stay safe in online games, and protect their personal information.

We started teaching “no” as soon as our kids could say it.

Not just as a way to push back on snacks or bedtime—but as a way to protect their space, their feelings, and eventually, their digital lives.

To me, privacy isn’t just about safety. It’s about self-worth. When I tell my kids they’re allowed to say no, I’m telling them they matter. Their boundaries matter. Their gut feelings are worth listening to—even if no one else in the room (or game, or app) is doing the same.

That message clicked for me the day my 8-year-old came to me after playing Fortnite. He looked uneasy and said, “Mom, someone was talking and I didn’t know them. I got scared, so I left and came to tell you.”

That moment mattered. Not because he made the “right” choice—but because he knew he could come to me. He didn’t freeze. He didn’t hide. He chose to trust his instincts—and then trust me.

We talk about the internet often in our house. Not just in rules and “don’ts,” but in real conversations about how the digital world will change as he gets older. We’ve addressed how not everyone online is who they say they are. How some people might pretend to be your friend, say nice things, or try to keep secrets—even though they don’t really know you.

And that’s why “no” is more than a word.

It’s a skill. A muscle. A practice. One that starts the very first time a toddler pulls their hand back or says, “Don’t touch that.” That’s not defiance. That’s the earliest form of consent—and it’s something I want my kids to carry with them into every group chat, every comment section, every future relationship.

Because long before we can teach them to be private with their information, we have to teach them to value their own voice.

That foundation—of knowing their voice matters—paves the way for the next step: understanding how that voice (and their clicks) travel in this digital age.

How Online Ads Helped Me Teach My Kid About Their Digital Footprint

A digital ad for the mobile game Raid: Shadow Legends featuring a skeleton warrior in ornate armor with glowing blue eyes, alongside large bold text that says “DOWNLOAD FOR FREE” and platform icons for the App Store, Google Play, and PC.

Even games your child doesn't play create a digital footprint. Ads like these help start conversations about data, privacy, and how their online information gets used.

I’ll never forget the day my son asked, “Why is this ad following me?” It was a toy he’d looked at once—once—and now it was popping up in every app like a clingy ex.

So I told him: “Some apps and sites remember what you look at, kind of like when you put a toy back on the shelf and a store employee follows you around asking if you still want it.”

We started playing a little game: “Is this app trying to help me or sell me something?” It became a fun way to call out ads, especially in games. And it taught my kids to notice when something online felt a little… pushy.

What I want more than anything is for them to feel aware, not watched. I don’t want them growing up thinking being tracked is normal—or worse, that being manipulated is just part of being on the internet.

Teaching digital privacy isn’t about handing them a list of rules—it’s about modeling curiosity, caution, and confidence. And for me, that starts before any app ever touches their device.

Here’s what I make sure of before my kid downloads anything:

What I Look for Before Letting My Children Download a New App

A young boy holds a smartphone and looks at his reflection on a selfie video app, appearing thoughtful. He's sitting on a couch in a relaxed setting, wearing a grey long-sleeve shirt, with his finger resting near his mouth in concentration.

Before your kids tap “download,” talk through what the app actually does—how it connects, what it collects, and who else might gain their way in.

Here’s the truth: I don’t trust parental controls.

Not because they’re broken—but because they don’t teach my kids how to think. They might filter the content, but they can’t filter the intent. And that’s what matters most to me.

Before I hit “Install,” I don’t just skim reviews or rely on age ratings. I sit with it. I explore the app myself. I ask hard questions:

Can it hide conversations?

Does it open a door to strangers?

Is there a social feed or follower count?

Does it link out to other platforms with zero warning?

If the app makes it hard to see how it works—or who can get in—I already have my answer.

Because I’m not just looking at what the app does. I’m asking: “Who does this app silently invite into my child’s world?”

I care less about features and more about access.

Not the kind that comes with a download button—but the kind that shows up uninvited and unnoticed.

The goal isn’t to block every risk. It’s to help them recognize when something doesn’t feel right—even when no one’s watching.

That’s not something a strong password with 14 different lowercase letters can do.
That’s something we build together.

And remember: it’s not just what our kids use—it’s what they agree to without understanding.

Let’s be honest, most of us didn’t grow up reading the fine print either.

Making “Terms of Service” Make Sense (Even for Me)

Close-up of a computer screen showing a checked box next to “I agree to the terms &” with an orange “Accept” button below, and a cursor hovering over it.

Before your children hit “Accept,” help them think twice. Those terms might give away more personal information than they realize—like location, contacts, or data.

I used to scroll and tap “I agree” without a second thought. It felt harmless—just another step between me and the app I wanted.

But a recent wrongful death case involving Disney showed how dangerous that can be.

In 2023, a woman died from an allergic reaction at a restaurant in Disney Springs, part of the Walt Disney complex. Her husband filed a wrongful death suit—but Disney initially argued the case should be dismissed entirely because Piccolo earlier clicked “I agree” on the Disney+ app terms, which included a forced arbitration clause.

Disney claimed that clicking through terms during a free Disney+ subscription or ticket purchase waived the husband’s right to sue in court.

I know it’s easy to just click accept terms and move on.

But the more I paid attention, the more I realized: they weren’t asking for permission. They were taking it—silently, legally, and permanently.

Now, we read them. Not every word—but enough to catch the patterns. And we turned it into a game: “Guess what this app wants from you.”

Spoiler: it’s rarely just your email.

Sometimes it’s your camera, your contacts, your location, or full access to your photo library. Sometimes it’s permission to track you across other apps, even when you’re not using theirs.

We laugh about it—because humor helps. But we also pause. We ask, “Do we really want to give that up?”

It’s not about paranoia. It’s about paying attention.

It is making sure our kids learn to read the fine print of digital life before they sign their name to it.

And once they understand what they’re agreeing to, the next step is knowing what to do when something feels off.

Because even with the best privacy habits, real online safety comes down to what happens in those unexpected, in-between moments—when something feels weird, and they’re not sure what to do.

What I Say to My Kids About Information Safety

A young child and an adult sit closely together outdoors, looking at a smartphone screen, viewed from behind.

Teaching children to stay safe online starts with trust. Open talks help protect personal information online and build stronger online communication habits.

I don’t give speeches. I don’t rattle off rules or recycle warnings from technology blogs.

We address the kinds of situations that don’t come with easy answers.

“If someone asks you to keep a secret online, what would you do?”

“What if a game wants your real name?”

“What if someone says something that makes you feel weird, but you’re not sure why?”

We talk it out—not like an interrogation, but like a check-in.
And I remind them: “You can always tell me. Not because you’re in trouble—but because I want to help.”

I don’t want them making choices out of fear—or hiding things because they think I’ll get mad.
I want them to feel what trust really means.
That no matter what happens, they can bring it home. To me.

Because digital safety isn’t about memorizing rules.

It’s about building a space where our kids know they’re safe enough to ask, to tell, to figure it out with us.

Final Words: How I Kept My Kid’s Information Safe in this Digital World

Teaching digital privacy isn’t a one-time lesson. It’s a constant conversation—a way of raising kids who feel safe, respected, and aware in every space they enter, especially the digital ones.

Because if we’re being honest, privacy in the modern world has mostly been an illusion. But self-respect? Critical thinking skills? The power to pause and choose what we are sharing online, how we engage, and who we trust? That’s real.

And that’s the part of “privacy” I want my kids to understand.
Not the fantasy of being invisible—but the reality of being in control.

Because in a world that’s always watching, I want them to remember:
You don’t have to disappear to protect yourself—you just have to know who you are, and what you’re worth.

And that starts at home.

Mary Bowers

I carry my past not as a weight, but as a compass. After surviving digital exploitation as a teen, I’ve made it my mission to help others feel seen, safe, and supported—especially the next generation. Now, I blend advocacy with action, partnering with anti-trafficking organizations and creating bridges between technology and healing. I’m also a full-time student and mom, balancing it all with a creative spirit and a deep belief in the power of transformation. My story isn’t just about surviving—it’s about using every part of it to build something better

Type 1 Reformer / INTJ Architect

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